So here it is, in all of its glory(tm)....
Mondays, Sweet and Blessed Mondays
Nothing to write about. Or, too much to write about. Either way, here I am.
First of all, I should tell you my name - I'm Josh Butterfield. A remarkably un-remarkable name. Whenever I see it written, I always feel like Charlie Brown. Of all the Josh Butterfields of the world, I'm the Josh Butterfieldest. *sigh*
I'm going to pause here for a second since I see some of you in the back are taking notes.. (good on-ya!)
Now then.. So why Monday Blues? And why on Tuesday? Because like a pebble dropped into the center of a very still lake, Monday's craptitude ripples throughout the week.
I know it's really not Monday's fault. It just wants to get along like everyone else. It wants to get through its business in one piece and with as few scrapes and bruises as possible. It has hopes, dreams, loves, wants and needs just like any other day of the week. Yet..... 90% of all trouble and trauma in the universe revolve around Mondays! Seriously. Well, as serious as I can be with a completely made up statistic like that..
Here are more completely useful and factual facts:
- 83.5% of all woes begin on Monday.
- 96.88% of all people who have experienced a Monday has complained of ill effects.
- 3.05% of all Mondays have, to date, not sucked.
These are facts, people! You know it's true because you're reading it on the internet.
All of this is just preamble for the heart of the matter. I'm troubled. Seriously troubled. It goes well beyond "This is a bad day" into "Quick kicking me, destiny!" I've got so much going on that needs fixing that I don't know where to begin. I'm overwhelmed!!
So of course my natural course of action when truly challenged is.... to WRITE ABOUT IT (in terms so completely generic that there's no way it will help the situation and or make me feel better about it..)!
On that truly ambiguous note, I bid you a fond adieu.