Friday, March 13, 2009

Ducks - the Horror!

From "Opiate" by Tool

Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow
What you need is someone strong to guide you
Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow
Let me lay my holy hand a, hand upon you

Filthy creatures, really. Ducks.

So I'm in a brand new office, one wall is dominated by two huge glass windows. They overlook one of the most beautiful business courtyards I've ever seen. However, my office is situated so that my back is to my windows, and with how much time I spend with my nose to the grindstone, I seldom get to see it.

Here's the view from my window after a recent storm:

Still quite scenic, little water fount / fall

Here's the fall part.

Pulled back a bit.. You can see the other buildings across the way.

Little bridge, and a normally well kept grounds (hard to see in the snow)

The whole tamale!

Anyhow, it's like my second day in the office, and I haven't had a chance to really enjoy the view, but some folks I work with wandered in while I was between meetings.. As they chatted with me about a few minor work things, their eyes kept flitting outside, softening as they observed Mother Nature(tm) in all of her glory. It's important to note that these ladies are all very mature, very professional and decently conservative.

Finally one of them speaks up..

One of Them: You have the most amazing view, don't you just love to watch the ducks?

I had to honestly admit, I didn't really give them any thought.. I hadn't had TIME to enjoy 'em. So, pausing mid conversation, I spun my chair and looked outside.

RIGHT outside my office, straight out from my window and right next to the pond, a male duck started chasing around a female duck. The female was screaming for help, but the other ducks just didn't make eye contact. It wasn't just a scream but it was this desperate screeching wail that sounded wholly miserable!

Finally, the guy duck, having gotten a good handle on the struggling gal, and having forced her into the water, started humping away at SheDuck for god and glory. At this point, another guy duck, swimming around in the water stopped and looked for all the world like he was taking notes on the first duck's technique.

Finally, with one last warbling cry, HeDuck jumped off, flapped his wings a bit and started swimming off with his note taking buddy.

Of course, this is just nature - right? But in my mind the poor SheDuck was down in the water, trying to stop the tears and clean up the duckscara that was running down her face.

Slowly, I spun my chair back around, mouth dropped completely open in shock and horror, eyes wide with disgust..

The three ladies in my office, stared over my shoulder, each of them wearing a look of sheer horror.

They filed out of my office without another word, and not ONE of them has mentioned my view again.

Freakin' ducks...


Valenna said...


AndreaDo said...

Poor Sheduck! Duckscara is expensive too!!